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Thursday, October 8, 2015

9 Telltale Signs Toxic People Are Getting the Best of You


Toxic people can negatively influence the way
you think, feel, and behave.

Whether your mother-in-law is a constant
complainer, your boss is an angry cynic, or
your neighbor is a pessimistic downer, dealing
with toxic people can be unavoidable. But the
way you respond to toxic people is your
choice.


If you're not careful, toxic people can
negatively influence the way you think, feel,
and behave. They can introduce chaos into
your life and cause unnecessary stress that will
drag you down. Here are nine telltale signs
toxic people are getting the best of you:

1. You Talk About Them a Lot
Grumbling to your co-workers about your rude
boss or complaining to your spouse about that
self-absorbed relative takes time and energy.
Talking about toxic people when they're not
around gives them more power over your life.

2. You Lose Your Temper
Whether you're dealing with a master
manipulator or the office gossip, toxic people
can stir up strong emotions. If you're not
careful, the stress and frustration can easily
turn to rage. When a toxic individual gets the
best of you, you may feel like you're not in
control of your emotions .

3. Your Self-Esteem Dwindles
Toxic people are often rude, insulting, and
downright degrading. And sometimes, it can be
tempting to think things like, "My father makes
me feel bad about myself." But ultimately, your
self-worth is up to you and should never be
dependent on someone else.

4. You Blame Them for Your Behavior
If you fall prey to a toxic person's
manipulation, you may be tempted to blame
them for the choices you make. Placing blame
for what's going on in your life, however, is a
clear sign that a toxic person has too much
power over you. Accept personal responsibility
for how you spend your time and whom you
spend it with.

5. You Dread Spending Time With Them
Feelings of dread can consume a lot of your
time and energy. Whether you're going to a
party with a toxic relative, or you're attending a
meeting with a toxic co-worker, allowing that
event to ruin the hours--or perhaps even days--
leading up to it is a sign that a toxic person is
all-consuming.

6. You Stoop to Their Level
If you've started thinking, "If you can't beat
them, join them," you may start behaving in a
way that isn't in accordance with your values.
Stooping to a toxic person's level often comes
as a last resort, but it isn't an effective coping
strategy. Ultimately, it will only create more
chaos in your life.

7. You Don't Set Healthy Boundaries
A toxic individual's manipulative and
aggressive tactics can make it difficult to set
healthy boundaries . You may be taken off-
guard by a co-worker's audacity or left
speechless by your friend's harsh words. But
without healthy boundaries, it's impossible to
protect yourself emotionally from their grasp.

8. You Resort to Unhealthy Coping
Pouring yourself a drink or indulging in some
extra helpings of comfort food may make you
feel better in the moment. But over the long
term, those unhealthy coping strategies can
cause more problems. If you're resorting to
quick fixes to help deal with the stress, a toxic
individual may have power over your life for
years to come.

9. Your Relationships Suffer
Yelling at your kids to release your tension, or
arguing with your spouse because you came
home in a bad mood after dealing with a toxic
individual, can cause serious damage. If you're
not careful, one individual's unhealthy behavior
could infiltrate your other relationships and
cause them to suffer.

Limit a Toxic Person's Influence
If toxic people are getting the best of you, it's
important to limit their influence. In some
cases, that may mean refusing to waste time
thinking about that person. In more serious
cases, it may mean cutting a toxic person out
of your life.

Credit: inc.com

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