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Monday, November 2, 2015

How to get over disappointments

We've all at one point or the other in our lives experienced different shades of setbacks and disappointments, in fact life is rife with them. People give their words and at the end of the day fail to live up to them, trust is betrayed, relationships crash, sometimes without notice; promising businesses plunge into bankruptcy, with hopes and dreams shattered. I can go on and on listing the forms of disappointments we've encountered. But how do we get over them?

There is no better way for me to drive home my points than to relay a personal story of my brushing with disappointment earlier in my career. That was in 2010, after rounding off my NYSC program in Ekiti State, the then Governor of the State, Mr. Segun Oni, offered me an automatic employment in the state’s civil service for my exceptional talents. In the course of my waiting for the appointment to be ratified, the governor was impeached.

I waited patiently nine months for the job I was offered all to avail. In December of 2010, I decided to move on with my life without feeling bitter about the whole scenario. I believed things that lied ahead of me superseded the apparent disappointment and it turned out to be so. Today God has converted that disappointment into a testimony. I don’t think I would have met the opportunities and connections I got in Lagos if I were still in Ekiti. Things happen for a purpose. 

Sometimes we keep staring at closed doors that we don’t have time to see the new ones the Lord opened for us. We’ve got to learn to move on. See your disappointments as small stuffs and indeed they are all small stuffs. No disappointment is worth you taking your life. No disappointment should make you endlessly bitter. Nothing stifles creativity like bitterness. See beyond the present glitches because the beautiful ones are not yet born. Please note that anyone who promises you life is a roller-coaster is not telling you the whole truth. There are battles to be fought and victories to be won.

So now let’s look at 5 definitive steps you can take in getting over disappointments and making them the small stuffs they were supposed to be:

1.  Don’t take it personal
Every human on planet earth had at one point or the other encountered disappointing situations, so it’s not peculiar to you. There are people that had similar situations like yours yet they pulled through and are living happier lives. You too can.

2. Cultivate the mentality that when one door closes better doors are set to open. 
Do not bemoan your ill-fated transactions that you don’t have time to see new opportunities that are opening up. Remove the blinder, affirm to yourself that better days are ahead.

3.   Read
Reading is a good tool for diversion and as well as empowerment, which takes your mind off your worries. Read biographies of great men, their challenges and how their conquered them, read motivational books and articles; they will help your cause. For me, I’ve found this to be handy in the process of ‘recovery’. Normally I read the Bible, biographies, as well as motivational books any time I feel need to be inspired to 'carry on'. The impact of good books on your mind and all round development cannot be quantified.

4.    Work hard as ever
Never allow temporary setbacks to diminish your productivity. I must admit that sometimes such situations can be crushing, leaving one with no iota of motivation whatsoever. That's probably why you found this piece online to inspire you to get back on track. The responsibility is on you to get back to winning ways. So make your life count. No disappointment should make you raise up your hands in defeat and don’t you give up because the best days of your life are still ahead of you.

5.    Prayer works wonders
Issues exist that cannot be resolved with human strength and the earlier you know this the better life becomes. You need God to handle them. I remember reading an old English proverb as an adolescent which says, ‘He that ceases to pray, ceases to prosper’.  I would admit that I have attained great victories on the prayer altar than through any other means. This is not religiosity, it is the truth. Prayer done in faith can improve your fortunes sporadically. If you are still sceptical about this, try it. It works!

Suicide is not the solution to ending life’s woes, some people have faced situations that were more difficult and dire, yet they came out of them stronger. You too can! Remember, no challenge in life is beyond redemption. See you at the top!

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